Times with a child that has ASD and ADHD are enjoyable and open me up to whole new world of understanding and joy of the little accomplishments, not just the big things. Then there are times where there are like this morning where I just want to quit, pack up and leave. Where no matter what I try and do my child will not calm down and listen. Then that will turn into a meltdown upon a meltdown, and once a meltdown hits, it is all over. I have to ride it out until he can take in other things again. It makes even more challenging when those times happen while I am supposed to be teaching for Sunday School, or watching children in the Nursery. Thankfully at times, my husband can help, but there are times due to his responsibilities of the church that I have to just ride this out with my oldest and try to make the best of the situation. I am thankful that the school he goes to has staff that can help him and is patient with him as well. It is regrettable that I do not have the same help at my church. I know it is different and challenging still you can learn, and you can help. I try to help others if their children are having a hard time, especially at church. Once they hear the words special needs, it is like my son gets put in a box and can only be handled by his parents. Still, though there are some that will work with him and keep him busy to keep him focused at my church, I am grateful for that. However, if they see me struggling with him, they will go out of their way to avoid the situation. I do not understand, and yet I understand it is not their child they do not want to cause a bigger scene or do something inappropriate to make the situation worse. However, could they not just genially ask if everything alright. I can generally tell when someone is listening and trying to help or they are just saying it to be nice. I mean I know meltdowns are not fun to watch unfold. One easy thing to for him is trying to talk to the child that is having the meltdown if you know what they like to try to talk to them about what their interests are, that way they will switch focus on that conversation and not what is causing their brain to go into overload. I think this why I have such a hard time with fully adjusting and trusting my church. Though at times it is wonderful and everything is flowing as it should. Then we hit a wall, generally with my oldest because of his special needs. Most are trying, others though seem to just try with words, and not with action. I know I am not perfect, I am trying to discover different ways to do my lessons for Sunday school, being a stay at home mom, and going to school online. The way they are set up the lessons the children have no interest, especially for those similar to my oldest that is all hands-on learning. No matter which option I do with the children. They will answer the questions, but they want interactive, none of the lessons are that interactive. They involve paperwork, no child likes to solely to do paperwork, especially at that age.
Still, those few adults that give off this vibe that they are uncomfortable with my child because the questions they ask, and how they interact with him or lack thereof interaction. It is just heartbreaking, not every child is alike, those like my son are all different as well. Especially those that assume, it is something that I in raising my son to make him turn out that way, and make another assumption that his younger brother is just like him. They are similar in some ways but most they are complete opposites. If you can find the things my oldest is interested in and keep him helping, he will be a bigger helper, he loves to help. For my youngest he loves to do everything on his own, he is a leader, that is what he loves to do is lead. Also, my youngest can do one activity and sit doing that activity for a while, while my oldest has to keep moving and switching around to doing different things to keep his interest. All in all though even though I did talk about the church, it is not just at church that I have these situations. I have seen this more times at stores, with individuals that go out of their way to let me know they do not like seeing my child having a meltdown. As if I am causing him to be that way intentionally because of how he was raised. He is not spoiled, it is not because he did not get his way, it is because his mind is on overload, and he cannot control what is going on, so he blacks out.
Remeber, we are all called to be understanding of another, especially those that are of God. We are called to serve, and love on one another. In order to serve we need to have an understanding, or ask about what is going on with the families to understand why this is happening. Rather, than just trying to find ways to have the child be complacent. We are all created for a purpose, and reason, God's hands knit us together in our mother's womb, with such care, and affection. Therefore all of us are to be loved and cared for even if we harder to understand. To love one another is to see them as God sees them, not as we see them on the outside but what is on the inside. All in all, I do hope that those in my situations find a piece of mind that we are not alone in this struggle. May you be blessed in all that you do.
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