Forgiveness

^{Ephesians 4:32} Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

This is something I think we all as humans struggle with, regardless of what you believe. Forgiveness, me as a Christian, I am called to forgive just as God forgave me. In fact further, if I do not forgive He will not forgive me for all the wrongs I have done. Seems heavy at times, and such a burden. Honestly, in the moment and the act after you forgive it is like a weight is lifted off your shoulders. You are letting go of that burden of whatever hurt that person (situation) caused you. 

There is a certain situation that is close to home. I have to daily forgive this person because of the situation.  It hurts just thinking about that whole situation and there is nothing I can do to change that situation. Only those people that are directly causing that situation can fix what is going on. After I forgive them and give it to God, a peace, and a newness fills me. That is pretty awesome to not be tied down with that burden any more.
  
I am married and have two wonderful children. I love them all dearly. There are times that I just want to shut the door and cut myself off from them all together because I am becoming capsized. Where up is down and everything they do is upsetting and aggervating. I take a deep breath, remember these verses: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails.

I always add in the first part of verse 8. I think that is also crucial to remember that love never fails. God never fails us. I know he has never failed me.

Am I always perfect at giving it God and thinking of those verses when I am my wits end. NO! However, I do always eventually wake up and see the mess I caused for being so selfish and letting that situations grab ahold me like it did.  My family were not intending to hurt me at all most times. I saw it that way, and did not look at from their prespective or God's perspective and it all went askew. 

After I suck up my pride and give it to God, and ask my kiddos or husband to forgive me. We all are overwhelemed with peace and joy again. No one expect Jesus was PERFECT, whether you believe that or not. Just remember when you are at your wits end. To step back and look at it from a new angle, and forgive them. Even if that person intended to hurt you. Just let it go. No good comes from grudges, and vendattes.

In the end you can believe what you want. You do not have to answer to me. May you all have a blessed day! 

Autism

This word in itself for most parents and those that are diagnosed with this. This is a such life changing event in itself once you fully realize that hey my child, or you are autistic. Does this mean that everyone around you should bend to your every need, no. Does this mean that some things may have to change and how people approach you or your child, yes. Still all children I have met personally that are autistic are so different. They all seem to have at one thing that the excel in. For instance, my oldest does really well in sports, percussion, and dancing. He is still only 6 years old, so as to what he wants to do, will come in time. He can pick up on most ideas of dancing, percussion instrument and beats, along with sport playing, with only viewing this a few times. Granted at times he gets things confused, or does not fully understand the concept. I think this has mostly to do with his age, however I am not naive to the fact his autism might play a factor into this misunderstanding. From what I have read and seen children that are autistic generally are not all that active, and generally do not want to participate in sports. However, every person is different, each on of us has something we geared towards and can excel in.

School wise, he did do much better in a smaller classroom, that is mostly because of his ADHD. Seriously, he should have been in a smaller classroom in preschool even. He barely learned anything his few years in preschool, because there was so much going on, too many classmates and not enough help. He needs that one-on-one attention, to help him focus. School work is still a struggle to get him to, especially any kind of writing. He is ashamed of his writing skills and becomes easily frustrated. Therefore, it is a struggle in itself in the home to get him to do any kind of writing, or drawing. Great thing is he loves to read, yet struggles with answering questions. So his reading skills is not accurate, because they factor in your ability to recall what you have read. Maybe his ADHD does play a factor in his answering questions, but I know his autism does. Do I use this as an excuse to give up, or expect everyone to understand, no. Would I like others to acknowledge the fact that asking him questions is a gruesome process at times, yes.

Finally, the differences of meltdowns and temper tantrums. So easy to confuse, but they are different. For instance, my oldest in a full down meltdown which thankfully do not happen that often. He will throw himself on the ground, and refuse to listen to anyone. Along with having anyone approach him, he can become violent such as pounding the ground, screaming, even occasionally thrown items, and bat others out of the way. Literally, like he blacks out, recognizes nothing around him, we have to literally wait them out, till he calms himself down. He does have tiny meltdowns often, mostly because of not being able to do, what he set his mind of doing. For instance, his brother has this toy cars that they move by leg power. My oldest is too tall for this, he is right around 4 feet tall. Anyways, his brother wanted a turn, I told my oldest to that it was his brothers turn. He refused to get out, and said loudly, "NO, I AM STILL PLAYING!". I said, "Bubba, you have had your turn give your brother a turn now." He said , "FINE!" Got out, knocked it over and sat on the side of it, so I had to remove him from it, which caused his to scream and run upstairs to his bedroom. Granted I should have given him a time limit and warning to when his turn is over. That works best for him. As you can see that meltdown looks like a temper tantrum but it is not.  They are different if you really try to stop for them. Difference is to remember is a child will shut down and not listen, as to fight you but still able to approach them calmly and get them to listen. I know that is how it is with his younger brother. He will fight me but usually end of tantrum is when I fireman carry him. :)


Hopefully this will help you out there that comes across this, that Autistic children/adults are never exactly alike. Also understand that meltdowns and temper tantrums are different, even though others may see them as the say, I will not. Also help others to open to the fact that the child you think is controlling the parents may not be the case. Most, again not all autistic children have to be handled differently when they act out, they may not understand, and may freak them out because they do not understand. Calmness is the key, and a friendly word is best for any parent struggling to keep their child calm.

Life as cooking as a vegan, even though I do eat meat.

I have in the past 6 months developed multiple intolerance's have I had a months worth of stomach bug. It literally killed my stomach, so now I am similar to my youngest, that seems to have similar intolerance's that I do. After the initial shock of realizing I can no longer have dairy of any kind, even small bits of dairy, such as whey, or even lactic acid (milk acid). I have to make every thing from scratch. I even have to put my own seasonings together, at times the traces will mess with not only my belly, but my youngest. Which means I will have to get herbs and spices online, or grow my own, which is very difficult in a small apartment, with limited outdoor growing spaces. I have been cooking with rice, or potatoes as the starch. For sweets, I personally prefer using applesauce.

 Pizza with white sauce:

Dough simple 6 ingredients:
1 cup Warm water (110 degrees Fahrenheit)
1/8 cup Oil (olive oil, or whatever oil you prefer)
1/4 cup white sugar
1 tsp salt
3 cups flour (all-purpose more crunchy, bread flour for softer doughier crust)
2 1/2 Tbsp instant dry yeast (if use active have to add to water first and wait for 2-5 minutes for yeast to foam)
Prepare dough:
Mix all together in medium mixing bowl and knead for at least 5 minutes, can even use a food processor.
Cover with a damp paper towel

White sauce:
2/3 cup soy milk original
2/3 cup sour cream tofutti
2 tsp salt
1 tsp garlic
1 tsp onion powder

1 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp parsley
1 tsp basil
1 tsp corn starch (minimal)
1/4 cup cashews crushed (optional)
1/4 cup almonds crushed (optional)

Prepare:
Add the milk with all season in a small mixing bowl, then stir in the sour cream, last add in corn starch
OR: Add all to food processor
Check consistency you prefer for sauce, if you want a thick sauce add more corn starch a 1 tsp at a time.

Preheat oven to 350, if you have oven like mine it has to be much cooler.
Roll out dough add a small amount of more oil to do while shaping for the pizza.
Then slather on all white sauce it is extra thick which my family loves!

Add whatever you want on top spinach works well, along with lunch meat, tomatoes, or even sausage. Whatever you want it is your pizza add some personality to it. It is delicious as is, cook until crust is golden brown.