Autism

This word in itself for most parents and those that are diagnosed with this. This is a such life changing event in itself once you fully realize that hey my child, or you are autistic. Does this mean that everyone around you should bend to your every need, no. Does this mean that some things may have to change and how people approach you or your child, yes. Still all children I have met personally that are autistic are so different. They all seem to have at one thing that the excel in. For instance, my oldest does really well in sports, percussion, and dancing. He is still only 6 years old, so as to what he wants to do, will come in time. He can pick up on most ideas of dancing, percussion instrument and beats, along with sport playing, with only viewing this a few times. Granted at times he gets things confused, or does not fully understand the concept. I think this has mostly to do with his age, however I am not naive to the fact his autism might play a factor into this misunderstanding. From what I have read and seen children that are autistic generally are not all that active, and generally do not want to participate in sports. However, every person is different, each on of us has something we geared towards and can excel in.

School wise, he did do much better in a smaller classroom, that is mostly because of his ADHD. Seriously, he should have been in a smaller classroom in preschool even. He barely learned anything his few years in preschool, because there was so much going on, too many classmates and not enough help. He needs that one-on-one attention, to help him focus. School work is still a struggle to get him to, especially any kind of writing. He is ashamed of his writing skills and becomes easily frustrated. Therefore, it is a struggle in itself in the home to get him to do any kind of writing, or drawing. Great thing is he loves to read, yet struggles with answering questions. So his reading skills is not accurate, because they factor in your ability to recall what you have read. Maybe his ADHD does play a factor in his answering questions, but I know his autism does. Do I use this as an excuse to give up, or expect everyone to understand, no. Would I like others to acknowledge the fact that asking him questions is a gruesome process at times, yes.

Finally, the differences of meltdowns and temper tantrums. So easy to confuse, but they are different. For instance, my oldest in a full down meltdown which thankfully do not happen that often. He will throw himself on the ground, and refuse to listen to anyone. Along with having anyone approach him, he can become violent such as pounding the ground, screaming, even occasionally thrown items, and bat others out of the way. Literally, like he blacks out, recognizes nothing around him, we have to literally wait them out, till he calms himself down. He does have tiny meltdowns often, mostly because of not being able to do, what he set his mind of doing. For instance, his brother has this toy cars that they move by leg power. My oldest is too tall for this, he is right around 4 feet tall. Anyways, his brother wanted a turn, I told my oldest to that it was his brothers turn. He refused to get out, and said loudly, "NO, I AM STILL PLAYING!". I said, "Bubba, you have had your turn give your brother a turn now." He said , "FINE!" Got out, knocked it over and sat on the side of it, so I had to remove him from it, which caused his to scream and run upstairs to his bedroom. Granted I should have given him a time limit and warning to when his turn is over. That works best for him. As you can see that meltdown looks like a temper tantrum but it is not.  They are different if you really try to stop for them. Difference is to remember is a child will shut down and not listen, as to fight you but still able to approach them calmly and get them to listen. I know that is how it is with his younger brother. He will fight me but usually end of tantrum is when I fireman carry him. :)


Hopefully this will help you out there that comes across this, that Autistic children/adults are never exactly alike. Also understand that meltdowns and temper tantrums are different, even though others may see them as the say, I will not. Also help others to open to the fact that the child you think is controlling the parents may not be the case. Most, again not all autistic children have to be handled differently when they act out, they may not understand, and may freak them out because they do not understand. Calmness is the key, and a friendly word is best for any parent struggling to keep their child calm.

Life as cooking as a vegan, even though I do eat meat.

I have in the past 6 months developed multiple intolerance's have I had a months worth of stomach bug. It literally killed my stomach, so now I am similar to my youngest, that seems to have similar intolerance's that I do. After the initial shock of realizing I can no longer have dairy of any kind, even small bits of dairy, such as whey, or even lactic acid (milk acid). I have to make every thing from scratch. I even have to put my own seasonings together, at times the traces will mess with not only my belly, but my youngest. Which means I will have to get herbs and spices online, or grow my own, which is very difficult in a small apartment, with limited outdoor growing spaces. I have been cooking with rice, or potatoes as the starch. For sweets, I personally prefer using applesauce.

 Pizza with white sauce:

Dough simple 6 ingredients:
1 cup Warm water (110 degrees Fahrenheit)
1/8 cup Oil (olive oil, or whatever oil you prefer)
1/4 cup white sugar
1 tsp salt
3 cups flour (all-purpose more crunchy, bread flour for softer doughier crust)
2 1/2 Tbsp instant dry yeast (if use active have to add to water first and wait for 2-5 minutes for yeast to foam)
Prepare dough:
Mix all together in medium mixing bowl and knead for at least 5 minutes, can even use a food processor.
Cover with a damp paper towel

White sauce:
2/3 cup soy milk original
2/3 cup sour cream tofutti
2 tsp salt
1 tsp garlic
1 tsp onion powder

1 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp parsley
1 tsp basil
1 tsp corn starch (minimal)
1/4 cup cashews crushed (optional)
1/4 cup almonds crushed (optional)

Prepare:
Add the milk with all season in a small mixing bowl, then stir in the sour cream, last add in corn starch
OR: Add all to food processor
Check consistency you prefer for sauce, if you want a thick sauce add more corn starch a 1 tsp at a time.

Preheat oven to 350, if you have oven like mine it has to be much cooler.
Roll out dough add a small amount of more oil to do while shaping for the pizza.
Then slather on all white sauce it is extra thick which my family loves!

Add whatever you want on top spinach works well, along with lunch meat, tomatoes, or even sausage. Whatever you want it is your pizza add some personality to it. It is delicious as is, cook until crust is golden brown.

Brownies

Due to various reasons in my family dynamic, I had to cut out the use of dairy and eggs when I am cooking for myself and my youngest boy. Along with watching my youngest fruit and vegetable in take. So crazy how that happens.
Here is a egg, dairy, and oil free recipe at least in the brownies themselves.

Ingredients:
2 Tbsp whole chia seed
1 1/2 cups warm water
1 1/2 cups cane sugar (those look like minuscule tan cubes)
1 1/4 cup flour
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup cocoa powder (not so strong/bitter taste then just do 1/2 cup)
1 tsp vanilla
 
Directions:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit, and coat square cake pan with shortening/oil
• Grind the chia seeds, add 1 cup of water (I use a magic bullet equivalent and add the water after the chia seeds are powder, and blend it for about 2 seconds). You can just stir the water into the powder.

• Put cane sugar and 1/2 cup warm water into the  Medium size mixing bowl and stir together.
• Add in the chia seeds mixture into the bowl
• Add in vanilla
• Add in baking soda and salt and stir
• Add in the cocoa powder and stir well try to diminish as many lumps as possible
• Add in the flour stir
• Add mixture to pan and make sure it is evenly spread 
• Cook for about 30 minutes, or until brownies are firm (note the amount of time cooking varies depending on where you are residing, and time of year as well)

Hope you enjoy my recipe next time I will post a recipe using applesauce, and possibly bananas as well, granted I have not tried that out yet. 
** Note: I did not use any oil, because of the water the oil will not actually settle into the mixture probably, and you will just have oily brownies, believe me that is what happened my first try. Here is a picture of finished and half eaten product. :)
 

Answers

I found out this past month that my oldest boy that will be six years old in a little over a week. Does have Autism, Expressive-Receptive Language Disorder, and ADHD. All that in it self is a lot to say. I already knew that he had a language delay, he was already diagnosed with that years ago. My husband and I also highly suspected that our oldest does have ADHD just because he is so hyperactive and inattentive at times that is off the charts. The Autism diagnosis surprised me, because of how heightened he is to most emotions. 

Looking back at all he did and all we went through kind shows off warning signs, and makes sense on that could have been the Autism. For instance, when he was a baby he would not sleep on his own very well. It took him till nine months before we could even try to get him to sleep in his own bed. Then we would have a lot of sleepless nights where he would cry himself to sleep. Even though we were in the room with him and giving him support. He just wanted to sleep with mom or dad. That took about 3 months to get him used to sleeping in his own bed in his own room. 

If anything would throw off his routine such as sleeping at grandparents, or staying out later than normal. Than it would back lash, and it would take about a week at least to get him back to sleeping on his own again. After his brother was born almost a year and a half ago, my husband just had him sleep with him downstairs. Now, that is what he is use to, wants to sleep with "daddy" all the time. 

Thinking back on all I just mentioned is mostly around these three areas: repetition, routines, and sensory. He needs that body there to sleep. I have researched ideas on what try to get him to sleep on his own. Will we try this out yes, but it will be a slow process because that is what works for our family.

Picture schedule, honestly, that should have been like a light bulb for me, I learned that Autistic children especially take well to picture schedules. That is the best way at school and at home (when we he feels like using it), worked for him to understand what is going on. One other idea we are going to try out is also a rewards chart of sorts, to help him understand consequences. Also want to work towards doing things that are positive, and not just do things because he wants to. Something that our boy has big struggle in, is understanding how is behaviors affect others. He like most children think that they should get something because they want it and see it. 

The big thing I have noticed with him, and trust me I do know that not all children are alike. He is very open to suggestion. Such as when we were at the store today, we were in the Tupperware isle. He saw pictures on some of the Tupperware of lunch. So he said, he needed that for lunch as well. 

I never truly thought after learning about everything that is going on with my oldest would open my eyes to want is strengthens and weakness are. Because I thought I already knew them all. Oh how I was wrong on that one. 

He is very powerful to persuasion, so that means we really have to watch what we have him, watch, and say to him. Along with, what others say to him. As I thinking about this, I have to cut back more, what shows we allow him to watch and what video games we allow him to play. 

Now I have been searching for visual aids, and what do to in the home for Behavioral needs help for his Autism. Do I think he is beyond hope, no way. He has made such progress especially this year. This has been a blessing in disguise. He is in a Autistic based classroom through our local public school. Granted is it as intensive as lets says a school for for Autism, no. Do I think he needs that kind of help, no. Why, because he is very high functioning, he can express his needs pretty well. The things that he really needs help with is language, and he getting that at school and through at home center. Will I seek out the extra help for his behavior, more than likely, just to help him better be able to make friends, and how to better approach children his age. 

Goodness that boy wants to play with everyone, he calls everyone his "friend". I mean everyone, cousins, neighborhood children, classmates, and occasionally his younger brother. He is such a loving boy and will give anyone that he gotten close to hugs hello and goodbye. I will post more after I make some calls and do more research. Have a blessed evening.

Lay it all down

There are many times in my life where I just wanted to lay it all down, and just walk away. We all have been there. When our child screams out at you, when you are trying to discipline them, so they can learn right from wrong. When we make a wrong turn end up being late to an important meeting that you were not supposed to be late too. When we make a wrong turn in life and end up loosing out  those relationships that meant so much too you. Even worse when your significant other does something that upsets you. You lash out on them and belittle them for they are supposed to be perfect when we are still so flawed.

Oh how many times I wanted to give up and walk away. Because it would just be so much easier to start a new. At least that is what the world is telling you. Think about yourself, you should be pleased first above all else. Whatever happened to the thought process of thinking about how our actions will affect those around us? Whatever happened to putting others needs first? Whatever happened to giving others second chances? Whatever happened to sitting down and thinking about the big picture before just giving it all up and walking away?

Will giving another a second chance harm you, depends on the situation. I am not in anyone else situation. The thing is we are all flawed and make our fair share of mistakes. The way I see it, it is only through God that any situation can be made clean and new. I am living proof of that, I made my fair share of mistakes.

I lied to my parents, I deceived my parents. I lied to  my then current boyfriend. I left my then current boyfriend for another, he became my husband. We got married before we were even together for a year. Then a few months later we had our oldest.

We had many spats, at times it had nothing to do with our too fast marriage and birth of a child. It had everything to do with not working out with our past relationship issues. Bringing all this past relationship issues along with all the issues that come with being married and having children.

Children are wonderful oh boy can they be a pain. I love my children I would not trade them for anything. Yet they are very taxing, they are time consuming, they can even zap you of all your energy. At times we can let our children take everything out of us, that we have nothing left to give our husband or wives, but resentment. No one deserves to be treated horribly just because we are wore out from our children.

Instead try to thank them everyday, for even the littlest things. Give one another hugs and slight affectionate touches whenever possible. These little things can make a huge improvement. Just let go of the little things, and start appreciating your significant other for what they are rather than what we want them to be. Have a wonderful day with the ones you love.

2 month old and a 4 year old and cold, i mean COLD weather!

Life around the home, is always chaotic. But it is getting easier to deal with and handle. I know I am not a perfect parent. I am trying to stick to these values. In hopes that my twos will live by these values as well.
To put God first, others second (regardless if you like them, or they are nice to you or not), then our own self third. To be humble and thankful in all circumstances. To listen, pray, and then speak. 
Though not easy values, they are important values for I believe anyone to follow. If we as Christians actually in all circumstances, put God first, others second and ourselves third, it would I believe turn this world upside down. For they would see through our actions God, and not just words. For if they are words alone without action it is meaningless. 
I cannot believe how quickly my youngest has grown, he already in size 9 months clothes. He is just like his older brother was at that age. I am just so glad, my oldest, is speaking in actual sentences most of the time. I just cannot believe that he is getting ready to be for the transition of kindergarten. I know that he will do well, as long as he has a teacher, that is patient with him, and take breaks and move. He does not like to sit down for too long. Nor do I as an adult. So in my opinion schools need to stop forcing children to sit down and learn, and let them get up and move and actually have fun learning. 
With this cold weather, though I cannot let my 4 year old stay outside. I still have to find ways to keep him warm in the home, whenever we are down stairs with extra clothing and blankets. Thankfully we have quite a bit of fleece blankets. Trying to keep him entertained, by playing board games, and whatever other activity he wants. It is so limited because my 2 month old does not nap for long or if at all on his own. I know one day he will not be like this, but I cannot wait until I can lay him down for a nap and he will actually stay down long enough for me to get light cleaning, food made and activity down with my oldest, before he wakes up.
I hope everyone stays warm on this cold day. May you day be a blessed day!

Real Contractions-disappointments

I have experienced real contractions and go in and out the hospital, well in fact still having the real contractions. After I am there for a little they do slow down, and my water still has not broke. The only thing that did help me become further dilated was walking. But because I am not 39 weeks they will not have me stay at the hospital and walk. Just means I have to go home and walk. Even though it is a little disappointing, but I will just focus on the positive. This means I can walk around my home or outside, sleep on my own bed, still on my own furniture, and not have to pay for more food, because we have food in our home. I have learned that even though this is my second boy that the labor process is different. I did not have braxton hicks or real contractions until after my water broke, and that was just a small leak. Hopefully, by my next appointment which is Tuesday and by then I will be 38 weeks. I will be enough dilated that they will think it is best that I stay until this baby comes, but it is all in God's hands. 

So all you mothers out their take heart, one day you will have your baby, and those hospital trips were worth it because you got to confirm that your baby is at least still very healthy. Your baby will come but it is in God's time and not our own. Have blessed day.