This word in itself for most parents and those that are diagnosed with this. This is a such life changing event in itself once you fully realize that hey my child, or you are autistic. Does this mean that everyone around you should bend to your every need, no. Does this mean that some things may have to change and how people approach you or your child, yes. Still all children I have met personally that are autistic are so different. They all seem to have at one thing that the excel in. For instance, my oldest does really well in sports, percussion, and dancing. He is still only 6 years old, so as to what he wants to do, will come in time. He can pick up on most ideas of dancing, percussion instrument and beats, along with sport playing, with only viewing this a few times. Granted at times he gets things confused, or does not fully understand the concept. I think this has mostly to do with his age, however I am not naive to the fact his autism might play a factor into this misunderstanding. From what I have read and seen children that are autistic generally are not all that active, and generally do not want to participate in sports. However, every person is different, each on of us has something we geared towards and can excel in.
School wise, he did do much better in a smaller classroom, that is mostly because of his ADHD. Seriously, he should have been in a smaller classroom in preschool even. He barely learned anything his few years in preschool, because there was so much going on, too many classmates and not enough help. He needs that one-on-one attention, to help him focus. School work is still a struggle to get him to, especially any kind of writing. He is ashamed of his writing skills and becomes easily frustrated. Therefore, it is a struggle in itself in the home to get him to do any kind of writing, or drawing. Great thing is he loves to read, yet struggles with answering questions. So his reading skills is not accurate, because they factor in your ability to recall what you have read. Maybe his ADHD does play a factor in his answering questions, but I know his autism does. Do I use this as an excuse to give up, or expect everyone to understand, no. Would I like others to acknowledge the fact that asking him questions is a gruesome process at times, yes.
Finally, the differences of meltdowns and temper tantrums. So easy to confuse, but they are different. For instance, my oldest in a full down meltdown which thankfully do not happen that often. He will throw himself on the ground, and refuse to listen to anyone. Along with having anyone approach him, he can become violent such as pounding the ground, screaming, even occasionally thrown items, and bat others out of the way. Literally, like he blacks out, recognizes nothing around him, we have to literally wait them out, till he calms himself down. He does have tiny meltdowns often, mostly because of not being able to do, what he set his mind of doing. For instance, his brother has this toy cars that they move by leg power. My oldest is too tall for this, he is right around 4 feet tall. Anyways, his brother wanted a turn, I told my oldest to that it was his brothers turn. He refused to get out, and said loudly, "NO, I AM STILL PLAYING!". I said, "Bubba, you have had your turn give your brother a turn now." He said , "FINE!" Got out, knocked it over and sat on the side of it, so I had to remove him from it, which caused his to scream and run upstairs to his bedroom. Granted I should have given him a time limit and warning to when his turn is over. That works best for him. As you can see that meltdown looks like a temper tantrum but it is not. They are different if you really try to stop for them. Difference is to remember is a child will shut down and not listen, as to fight you but still able to approach them calmly and get them to listen. I know that is how it is with his younger brother. He will fight me but usually end of tantrum is when I fireman carry him. :)Hopefully this will help you out there that comes across this, that Autistic children/adults are never exactly alike. Also understand that meltdowns and temper tantrums are different, even though others may see them as the say, I will not. Also help others to open to the fact that the child you think is controlling the parents may not be the case. Most, again not all autistic children have to be handled differently when they act out, they may not understand, and may freak them out because they do not understand. Calmness is the key, and a friendly word is best for any parent struggling to keep their child calm.
