Some more ideas

With my son, I have to find new ways it seems every day to keep him entertained by the grace of God. I am sure I am not alone in this feeling, and I sure some of you have already thought of these ideas but sometimes, it is helpful to get refreshed on some things you might have forgotten about.
I try to do all things that show God even to my children, I think that music is a great way to show God to them. Never underestimate the power of music, I have many different activities that I go along with my one son. Still, he is learning along with most of them, or some of them just involve letting me have some much needed free time. Here are some things you could do with music: make up a simple dance routine for you and child/children to go along with, have your child do some sit-ups, pushups, or jumping jacks with you. Even have music playing while doing work around the house, or school work if your child has any.
I have noticed that for my oldest that depending on the music he is more motivated to do specific activities. However, at times he will just want to listen to the music than do whatever activity I am trying to get them to do. Still, both my boys will dance if I am dancing, trust me I am no dancer, my children do not care they just love to be a part of whatever I am doing, and join in with me. Drumming they have spurts where both of them will want to just drum. Thankfully, we were able to get this electric drumset that was not the expensive. The downside to this drumset, it is not balanced correctly, so it falls apart with multiple uses pretty easily. Which could be why they don't use it that much. All in all, espeically in the winter time, this drum set is a must-have in my household it helps my oldest let out some extra energy, and listen to jams at the same time. A win-win situation for my oldest. The older he is getting, the more interest he has in music, especially with specific genres, the ones that my husband his father has introduced to him. Here is a picture of my youngest over a year ago jamming out on the drummers. He loves to drum as well, and that is only certain times of the year as well. It is weird how even children will go through cycles of what they want to do and what they want to interact with. My children now are heavily into their toys, which is a good and a bad thing. Especially my oldest that because of his ASD, and ADHD, he does not fully realize the mess until it is pointed out to him. Other times though he will realize the mess and constantly keep it picked up. I love those moments, what parent doesn't? What do you think is music an excellent addition to your home as well? Have a blessed day!

Food Senstivities~ red food dye

I have discovered, by the grace of God, over the past two years that my youngest (T) and I have many food sensitivities to various foods, such as milk, eggs, and garlic for myself at least. T cannot have red food dye whatsoever, one I discovered that maybe other things such as lactic acid were not causing the issue but the red food dye was, that means that most medicine I have to be careful, they have no dyes because if you look most have red food dye # 40. It is in store brand ibuprofen if they are fruit flavored or grape flavored along with Advil brand. My only option is dye free, I already knew I had to do that for his drinks, he cannot have a lot of juice, and he not big into the water. He will every once in a while, so he generally will have Gatorade and his soy milk. He drinks more milk than anything, and I let it go because he is on his way to being a vegan. Since he already cannot have animal by-products meaning milk and eggs. He has yet to like most meats that he has been given. He has liked hamburger in the past, but, I have to do that myself, and we have no space to grind meats ourselves we go without. Most places will add non-dry milk to hamburger not sure why though.

Anyways back to red food dye, I did not think to look at his medicine, until recently, like a few days ago.  I looked at his medicines liquid medicine that has color has red food dye in it. All that we have at home minus the ones that are dye free have red food dye. Now, I have to replace those to ensure if we ever do need that he will have something that will no cause another issue on top of whatever is causing his discomfort. Though it does seem daunting at times, like when he is in the nursery at our church, and someone offers him food without asking me first. There is so much he cannot have, it is easier at times just to ask me, and then me making out a list. I will do that if they ask, and have for my family. It is hard to put it all down, because well at times something else like the red food dye, I discovered at most 6 months ago. Even for me with garlic, and onion it is all trial and error. THat means that you have to give yourself or your child something that will make their insides go crazy at least three times to ensure that it is that causing the issues. At times with additives and such it is hard to pin it down. I finally discovered the food dye for T when he had nothing but that drink, and it was coming back in one form or the other within 30 minutes up to a few hours. For a few days, and it clicked because the other days he had other things, that could have been the cause as well. Now that I know this, I avoid red food dye at all costs, because for him it is as bad as milk is for me. Trust me it is awful; I am out for days, I cannot function, I can barely drink let alone eat. It is terrible I would wish it on no one. Have a blessed day everyone!

Duane Syndrome

I understand that most people have no clue what that is, I did not know until my youngest was diagnosed with that around 9 months old. We have gone through so much these past 3 years of dealing and understand Duane's. He had surgery over a year ago, and before that surgery, I was a nervous wreck. I mean to the point of the day before I could not sleep I was so filled with worries that should not have been there, that he was not going to wake up, or his surgeries were going to make him worse off. Still, we prayed, and I laid it all down to God and believed he would make it out alright, his eyes would improve, and his other situation that he was having surgery would be better because of the surgery. Finally, at the hospital, we also prayed for a miracle to be seen by the doctors. During the whole process, it was scary for the two surgeries took longer than expected because of unexpected complications. The doctors talked to us after both, and they both were not that hopeful with their prognosis. As we left his eye doctor caught us on the elevator, he called out to our son, and he looked at him with both eyes. His left eye that before was stuck before the midline is not just beyond. He was ecstatic, and told everyone in the elevator how wonderful it was that my son just looked at him! A few weeks later for a follow-up, his left eye is staying the same way, and his neck position is almost neutral. It was the best result possible. He had to be seen again in a month to make sure everything was still normal. Then with his other surgery, it went better than expected as well. Back to the eye doctor, he noticed his eyesight in one eye was different than his left eye. He had us come back in about 10 weeks to see if it was the same, or different. It was slightly worse again, so now he had to go back to patching to help strengthen his left eye. He had to wear that patch for about 6 months. In between, he was seen every 3 months, and his sight did improve. Now, it is to the point where his eyesight is equal again. We can wait another 3 months to ensure that his vision stays similar.

On the other hand, explaining to people what Duane Syndrome is, is a fun and challenging experience. Y0u have those that believe I am making up the diagnose and are determined it is a lazy eye, which it is nothing similar to Amblyopia. Along with the others that will listen and be like wow I have never heard of that. Then the few that are like yes, my loved one has that as well. Explain how they had surgery as well and after that, it helped them, and they are striving despite their eye's difficulties.

Hinderance at places because of a special needs child

Times with a child that has ASD and ADHD are enjoyable and open me up to whole new world of understanding and joy of the little accomplishments, not just the big things. Then there are times where there are like this morning where I just want to quit, pack up and leave. Where no matter what I try and do my child will not calm down and listen. Then that will turn into a meltdown upon a meltdown, and once a meltdown hits, it is all over. I have to ride it out until he can take in other things again. It makes even more challenging when those times happen while I am supposed to be teaching for Sunday School, or watching children in the Nursery. Thankfully at times, my husband can help, but there are times due to his responsibilities of the church that I have to just ride this out with my oldest and try to make the best of the situation. I am thankful that the school he goes to has staff that can help him and is patient with him as well. It is regrettable that I do not have the same help at my church. I know it is different and challenging still you can learn, and you can help. I try to help others if their children are having a hard time, especially at church. Once they hear the words special needs, it is like my son gets put in a box and can only be handled by his parents. Still, though there are some that will work with him and keep him busy to keep him focused at my church, I am grateful for that. However, if they see me struggling with him, they will go out of their way to avoid the situation. I do not understand, and yet I understand it is not their child they do not want to cause a bigger scene or do something inappropriate to make the situation worse. However, could they not just genially ask if everything alright. I can generally tell when someone is listening and trying to help or they are just saying it to be nice. I mean I know meltdowns are not fun to watch unfold. One easy thing to for him is trying to talk to the child that is having the meltdown if you know what they like to try to talk to them about what their interests are, that way they will switch focus on that conversation and not what is causing their brain to go into overload. I think this why I have such a hard time with fully adjusting and trusting my church. Though at times it is wonderful and everything is flowing as it should. Then we hit a wall, generally with my oldest because of his special needs. Most are trying, others though seem to just try with words, and not with action. I know I am not perfect, I am trying to discover different ways to do my lessons for Sunday school, being a stay at home mom, and going to school online. The way they are set up the lessons the children have no interest, especially for those similar to my oldest that is all hands-on learning. No matter which option I do with the children. They will answer the questions, but they want interactive, none of the lessons are that interactive. They involve paperwork, no child likes to solely to do paperwork, especially at that age.

Still, those few adults that give off this vibe that they are uncomfortable with my child because the questions they ask, and how they interact with him or lack thereof interaction. It is just heartbreaking, not every child is alike, those like my son are all different as well. Especially those that assume, it is something that I in raising my son to make him turn out that way, and make another assumption that his younger brother is just like him. They are similar in some ways but most they are complete opposites. If you can find the things my oldest is interested in and keep him helping, he will be a bigger helper, he loves to help. For my youngest he loves to do everything on his own, he is a leader, that is what he loves to do is lead. Also, my youngest can do one activity and sit doing that activity for a while, while my oldest has to keep moving and switching around to doing different things to keep his interest. All in all though even though I did talk about the church, it is not just at church that I have these situations. I have seen this more times at stores, with individuals that go out of their way to let me know they do not like seeing my child having a meltdown. As if I am causing him to be that way intentionally because of how he was raised. He is not spoiled, it is not because he did not get his way, it is because his mind is on overload, and he cannot control what is going on, so he blacks out.

Remeber, we are all called to be understanding of another, especially those that are of God. We are called to serve, and love on one another. In order to serve we need to have an understanding, or ask about what is going on with the families to understand why this is happening. Rather, than just trying to find ways to have the child be complacent. We are all created for a purpose, and reason, God's hands knit us together in our mother's womb, with such care, and affection. Therefore all of us are to be loved and cared for even if we harder to understand. To love one another is to see them as God sees them, not as we see them on the outside but what is on the inside. All in all, I do hope that those in my situations find a piece of mind that we are not alone in this struggle. May you be blessed in all that you do.

Forgiveness

^{Ephesians 4:32} Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

This is something I think we all as humans struggle with, regardless of what you believe. Forgiveness, me as a Christian, I am called to forgive just as God forgave me. In fact further, if I do not forgive He will not forgive me for all the wrongs I have done. Seems heavy at times, and such a burden. Honestly, in the moment and the act after you forgive it is like a weight is lifted off your shoulders. You are letting go of that burden of whatever hurt that person (situation) caused you. 

There is a certain situation that is close to home. I have to daily forgive this person because of the situation.  It hurts just thinking about that whole situation and there is nothing I can do to change that situation. Only those people that are directly causing that situation can fix what is going on. After I forgive them and give it to God, a peace, and a newness fills me. That is pretty awesome to not be tied down with that burden any more.
  
I am married and have two wonderful children. I love them all dearly. There are times that I just want to shut the door and cut myself off from them all together because I am becoming capsized. Where up is down and everything they do is upsetting and aggervating. I take a deep breath, remember these verses: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails.

I always add in the first part of verse 8. I think that is also crucial to remember that love never fails. God never fails us. I know he has never failed me.

Am I always perfect at giving it God and thinking of those verses when I am my wits end. NO! However, I do always eventually wake up and see the mess I caused for being so selfish and letting that situations grab ahold me like it did.  My family were not intending to hurt me at all most times. I saw it that way, and did not look at from their prespective or God's perspective and it all went askew. 

After I suck up my pride and give it to God, and ask my kiddos or husband to forgive me. We all are overwhelemed with peace and joy again. No one expect Jesus was PERFECT, whether you believe that or not. Just remember when you are at your wits end. To step back and look at it from a new angle, and forgive them. Even if that person intended to hurt you. Just let it go. No good comes from grudges, and vendattes.

In the end you can believe what you want. You do not have to answer to me. May you all have a blessed day! 

Autism

This word in itself for most parents and those that are diagnosed with this. This is a such life changing event in itself once you fully realize that hey my child, or you are autistic. Does this mean that everyone around you should bend to your every need, no. Does this mean that some things may have to change and how people approach you or your child, yes. Still all children I have met personally that are autistic are so different. They all seem to have at one thing that the excel in. For instance, my oldest does really well in sports, percussion, and dancing. He is still only 6 years old, so as to what he wants to do, will come in time. He can pick up on most ideas of dancing, percussion instrument and beats, along with sport playing, with only viewing this a few times. Granted at times he gets things confused, or does not fully understand the concept. I think this has mostly to do with his age, however I am not naive to the fact his autism might play a factor into this misunderstanding. From what I have read and seen children that are autistic generally are not all that active, and generally do not want to participate in sports. However, every person is different, each on of us has something we geared towards and can excel in.

School wise, he did do much better in a smaller classroom, that is mostly because of his ADHD. Seriously, he should have been in a smaller classroom in preschool even. He barely learned anything his few years in preschool, because there was so much going on, too many classmates and not enough help. He needs that one-on-one attention, to help him focus. School work is still a struggle to get him to, especially any kind of writing. He is ashamed of his writing skills and becomes easily frustrated. Therefore, it is a struggle in itself in the home to get him to do any kind of writing, or drawing. Great thing is he loves to read, yet struggles with answering questions. So his reading skills is not accurate, because they factor in your ability to recall what you have read. Maybe his ADHD does play a factor in his answering questions, but I know his autism does. Do I use this as an excuse to give up, or expect everyone to understand, no. Would I like others to acknowledge the fact that asking him questions is a gruesome process at times, yes.

Finally, the differences of meltdowns and temper tantrums. So easy to confuse, but they are different. For instance, my oldest in a full down meltdown which thankfully do not happen that often. He will throw himself on the ground, and refuse to listen to anyone. Along with having anyone approach him, he can become violent such as pounding the ground, screaming, even occasionally thrown items, and bat others out of the way. Literally, like he blacks out, recognizes nothing around him, we have to literally wait them out, till he calms himself down. He does have tiny meltdowns often, mostly because of not being able to do, what he set his mind of doing. For instance, his brother has this toy cars that they move by leg power. My oldest is too tall for this, he is right around 4 feet tall. Anyways, his brother wanted a turn, I told my oldest to that it was his brothers turn. He refused to get out, and said loudly, "NO, I AM STILL PLAYING!". I said, "Bubba, you have had your turn give your brother a turn now." He said , "FINE!" Got out, knocked it over and sat on the side of it, so I had to remove him from it, which caused his to scream and run upstairs to his bedroom. Granted I should have given him a time limit and warning to when his turn is over. That works best for him. As you can see that meltdown looks like a temper tantrum but it is not.  They are different if you really try to stop for them. Difference is to remember is a child will shut down and not listen, as to fight you but still able to approach them calmly and get them to listen. I know that is how it is with his younger brother. He will fight me but usually end of tantrum is when I fireman carry him. :)


Hopefully this will help you out there that comes across this, that Autistic children/adults are never exactly alike. Also understand that meltdowns and temper tantrums are different, even though others may see them as the say, I will not. Also help others to open to the fact that the child you think is controlling the parents may not be the case. Most, again not all autistic children have to be handled differently when they act out, they may not understand, and may freak them out because they do not understand. Calmness is the key, and a friendly word is best for any parent struggling to keep their child calm.

Life as cooking as a vegan, even though I do eat meat.

I have in the past 6 months developed multiple intolerance's have I had a months worth of stomach bug. It literally killed my stomach, so now I am similar to my youngest, that seems to have similar intolerance's that I do. After the initial shock of realizing I can no longer have dairy of any kind, even small bits of dairy, such as whey, or even lactic acid (milk acid). I have to make every thing from scratch. I even have to put my own seasonings together, at times the traces will mess with not only my belly, but my youngest. Which means I will have to get herbs and spices online, or grow my own, which is very difficult in a small apartment, with limited outdoor growing spaces. I have been cooking with rice, or potatoes as the starch. For sweets, I personally prefer using applesauce.

 Pizza with white sauce:

Dough simple 6 ingredients:
1 cup Warm water (110 degrees Fahrenheit)
1/8 cup Oil (olive oil, or whatever oil you prefer)
1/4 cup white sugar
1 tsp salt
3 cups flour (all-purpose more crunchy, bread flour for softer doughier crust)
2 1/2 Tbsp instant dry yeast (if use active have to add to water first and wait for 2-5 minutes for yeast to foam)
Prepare dough:
Mix all together in medium mixing bowl and knead for at least 5 minutes, can even use a food processor.
Cover with a damp paper towel

White sauce:
2/3 cup soy milk original
2/3 cup sour cream tofutti
2 tsp salt
1 tsp garlic
1 tsp onion powder

1 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp parsley
1 tsp basil
1 tsp corn starch (minimal)
1/4 cup cashews crushed (optional)
1/4 cup almonds crushed (optional)

Prepare:
Add the milk with all season in a small mixing bowl, then stir in the sour cream, last add in corn starch
OR: Add all to food processor
Check consistency you prefer for sauce, if you want a thick sauce add more corn starch a 1 tsp at a time.

Preheat oven to 350, if you have oven like mine it has to be much cooler.
Roll out dough add a small amount of more oil to do while shaping for the pizza.
Then slather on all white sauce it is extra thick which my family loves!

Add whatever you want on top spinach works well, along with lunch meat, tomatoes, or even sausage. Whatever you want it is your pizza add some personality to it. It is delicious as is, cook until crust is golden brown.